There's a phrase going 'round these days. It goes, "I'm not where I thought I'd be at this age." We say this as if life is to be lived as a structured tour, rather than a rambling and wandering expedition. We go skipping from Life Event to Life Event, gathering up pottery barn vases and white picket fences, all the while not realizing that we’re going 100 mph on a barren highway sucking fumes en route to some hell hole we never set out to see.
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Thinker at La Familia Sagrada. June 2006.
Destinations becomes life goals. Arrive in Florence by 1PM. Check. Depart for Rome at 4. See the Pantheon, Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, and the River Tiber. Check check, check check. – But being there is so much more than arriving, or checking off another destination on our Facebook walls. It's the walk down the cobbled streets, past hidden sights you never planned to see. It's the feeling in your heart when you turn that corner on the way to the Sistine Chapel and see beauty you didn't even know existed. It's some crazy hidden and narrow alley deep in the Jewish quarter, discovered by chance, lit only with the moonlight. It's your own laughter echoing into the night. It's just being there, in the moment. And sure, your feet hurt and you miss fresh vegetables, but it's all part of being there, it's part of earning the experience. And some days, it's simply a slowly sipped latte at your corner café, a paragraph of perfect pentameter, a 3-hour phone call to your BFF, or a wicked downhill that tests the extremes of your courage and skill.
The fulfillment - it comes in brief, passing moments. But it lingers; it's something you can hang to. It's something you can create. It is not a great puzzle or an insurmountable obstacle. It's usually right around the corner, or in the palm of your hand. And so, though I’m not where I thought I’d be when I was this age, in so many ways I’m further. I've learned that experiences I didn't even know belonged on the list perhaps had to be discovered before I'd know where it is I'm supposed to be going. I've learned that where I'm supposed to be is exactly where I am.
