Remember when year-end just meant that you had to find a loud place to go and you had to devise a drinking plan, because drinking without a plan is a plan to end up spinning drunk inside your head, and you also had to think about which unergonomic shoes would hurt you the least and if you had a jacket to go with a dress? But now year-end means invoices and booking all of the revenues and performance reviews and that annual report that you’ve been doing since 2004 and just two glass of wine, please, and which ergonomic shoes will I wear and of course I have several jackets now.
Yesterday afternoon I met up with Erin and we went to the wine bar that we always go to and we had wine yes we did. With cheeses. She told me that she and her man set a wedding date and therefore we are going to Kauai in September fuckyeah snorkling.
After the wine bar I went to the grocery store. Not the economical megastore, but rather the little, overpriced, family-owned store that smells like dead fish. I walked in and I saw a guy double-take me. So it goes. In the produce section I was picking a pepper when the same guy says, from behind me, “excuse me!”. I spun around and the stranger was holding out a bumpy and black avocado and he said, “is this ripe?!” My first impulse was to check the avocado for ripeness. My second impulse was to retort, “dude, you’re in your 40s, if you don’t know how to pick out a ripe avocado by now, there ain’t nothin’ I can do to help ya.” That was also my third impulse. I went with my fourth impulse, which was to shrug my shoulders and say, “I don’t know!” and then I turned back around to the wall of mushrooms. I do not touch stranger’s avocados.